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KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:17 AM
A playset of Victoria AA to the best hex related joke! You have two days!

Prizes:
1st place: Vic AAx4 Paladin of Necropolisx4 Righteous Paladinx2
2nd place: Vic AAx1 Paladin of Necropolisx2 Righteous Paladinx2
3rd place: Yeti AAx4 Crackling Boltx4
WORST JOKE: Zodiac Shamanx4 Fish Handsx4

Want this to be a recurring competition? Donate to the prize pool! Want me to shut up for a bit? Don't!

Assassine
04-06-2015, 02:25 AM
Salt Harpy.

Voormas
04-06-2015, 02:28 AM
Ozawa walks into a bar, the barkeep goes "Didn't I just see you in here a minute ago?", Ozawa walks into a bar

Freebird_Falcon
04-06-2015, 02:28 AM
OG Vic > AA Vic

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:35 AM
Ozawa walks into a bar, the barkeep goes "Didn't I just see you in here a minute ago?", Ozawa walks into a bar
:stormcloud:

wolzarg
04-06-2015, 02:58 AM
Whats the difference between a gas troll and queen grace? Only one would murder you for calling out "Summoning the gas troll" as you cast it.

Why was the Wakizashi Ambusher late to the bake sale? No one would let him burrow a cup of sugar for his cupcakes.

What did the buccaneer say to the Killipede? Don't worry you will bounce back.

I don't know I'm not a clever man.

NoahBuddy
04-06-2015, 03:09 AM
Why did HexEnt create arena boss Xarlox?
Perfect runs are not gonna crush themselves .

Freebird_Falcon
04-06-2015, 03:26 AM
Human clumsiness persists even through death: if not careful, an Ancestral Spirit cantrip over itself.

Steelio
04-06-2015, 07:21 AM
Why did Othuyeg get fired from the mill? Because his apprentice was an Ogth

Why couldn't the kingdom of Cerulea get through to Gawaine? They only had a devoted emissary.

What's Queen Grace's favourite band? Adam and the Anths

LeMazing
04-06-2015, 07:33 AM
Dingler? I hardly know her!

ossuary
04-06-2015, 07:50 AM
What did Nori say to the Concubunny? "Wait a turn, I'm exhausted."

Hexgo
04-06-2015, 07:50 AM
AAre we there Yeti?

Xenavire
04-06-2015, 07:53 AM
Why wasn't it a Storm Cloud? Because it is always a Monsuun.

:stormcloud:

Scammanator
04-06-2015, 07:55 AM
Apologies in advance. These are terrible. For multiple reasons.



"Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Puck"
"Puck who?"
"Puck-er up, baby, and I'll show you why they call me the Dream Bringer."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Eurig"
"Eurig who?"
"Eurig-noring me? After everything we've been through together?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Mancubus"
"Come in. The door's unlocked."

ryuukan
04-06-2015, 09:04 AM
Who is the most religious person on Entrath?

The Vampire King, he always insists on Grace before meals

bonus joke:

Why did Jags break up with Constantina?

He couldn't commit to her being two Wild

nicosharp
04-06-2015, 09:14 AM
"Dirty Hex", Is when you play Wild, and mix in a little Blood.

SirGregory
04-06-2015, 09:19 AM
If you have 1 line of 100 Shin'hare in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have?

A receding Shin'Hare line!

:D

vickrpg
04-06-2015, 09:28 AM
How did the baby yeti feel when it had the flu?
Abominable.

What did baby yeti call his pet dog?
Frost bite?

What do mommy and daddy yetis call their babies?
Cill-dren

Where do Yetis go to dance?
Snow-balls

All the Yetis in hex are tame. There are no wild Yetis.

Puck sees A cerulean mirror knight, a baby yeti, Princess Victoria and a darkspire punisher all come out of a building. Thinking this is an odd group of people to be seen together, he walks up to the Princess and asks "Where are you guys coming from?
Princess V says "AA meeting."

hex_colin
04-06-2015, 09:48 AM
Puck sees A cerulean mirror knight, a baby yeti, Princess Victoria and a darkspire punisher all come out of a building. Thinking this is an odd group of people to be seen together, he walks up to the Princess and asks "Where are you guys coming from?
Princess V says "AA meeting."

/endthread How can this not be the winner? Especially given KG's proclivities... ;)

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 10:50 AM
/endthread How can this not be the winner? Especially given KG's proclivities... ;)
Well even if it was, there's three places to fill :)

Freebird_Falcon
04-06-2015, 11:01 AM
/endthread How can this not be the winner? Especially given KG's proclivities... ;)

hahah, my thoughts exactly

N3rd4Christ
04-06-2015, 11:24 AM
...hex ... joke!

KingGabriel

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 11:26 AM
KingGabriel
>:O
You're still mad about the AA yetis! :D

NOBLEStarshield
04-06-2015, 01:28 PM
Dingler? I hardly know her!

While all the jokes were great, this one gets my vote!

Piecetinker
04-06-2015, 01:29 PM
Countermagics are like Diarrhoea. You know it will happen, but you can't prevent it.

3238

magic_gazz
04-06-2015, 01:31 PM
Some funny jokes here.

gl guys

bleeding_warrior
04-06-2015, 01:38 PM
Poca lit one last cigarette. The bank was burning down... and her mortgage was slowly paying off.

nicosharp
04-06-2015, 01:43 PM
People keep telling me I have one-shot to make a Filk Ape joke....
They lied.

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 01:44 PM
People keep telling me I have one-shot to make a Filk Ape joke....
They lied.
Depends if NobleReverter shows up :stormcloud:

Obliviate
04-06-2015, 01:44 PM
A Shin'hare and a Pack Raptor are sitting in a Goblin Cooking Pot. The Pack Raptor says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?", then the Shin'hare replies "AHHHHHH, TALKING DINOSAUR."

AdamAoE2
04-06-2015, 02:07 PM
Three concubunnies are sitting at a bar, arguing about who is the most attractive of them all. They agree to settle the matter with a bet on who can pick up the most young Hares in the bar that night.
The first concubunny reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of perfume named Bunny Blossom and spritzes herself twice. Grinning to the two other concubunnies, she gets up and walks over to two good-looking Battle Hoppers quickly leaving the bar with both in tow.

“Hah, Amateur!” the second concubunny cackles, quickly reaching into her bag and retrieving a bottle of her own. This one is named Romantic Rabbit, and she spurts 3 puffs of it onto herself. “Make sure you two have my money tomorrow!” she mocks, as she saunters over to a table of good looking Shin’hare Militia and is quickly out the door with them.
The third concubunny watches them leave, deep in thought. Thinking to herself, she takes a long breath and reaches into her own bag, pulling out a black bottle, and spritzing herself only once.

The first two concubunnies are outside being fawned over by both of their entourages when suddenly the entire bar empties out, over a hundred shin’hare in all. At the front is the third concubunny, smirking to herself. The first two concubunnies don’t even notice that their own groups of shin’hare have already left them to join the third concubunny’s group. Dumbfoundedly, they ask the third concubunny what perfume she’s wearing. The third concubunny tosses the black bottle over to them before she’s taken away by a tidal wave of shin’hare. In shock, the first concubunny looks down at the name of the bottle of perfume in her hands.

“Pheromones”

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:14 PM
As to be expected from possibly the largest competition maker Brynhildr ;)
Well, at least in length. Also you misspelt Pheromones!

AdamAoE2
04-06-2015, 02:17 PM
Ugh, i cant believe i misspelled the punchline!

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:23 PM
Ugh, i cant believe i misspelled the punchline!
Eh, not a major mistake, don't rabbit on about it.

Zophie
04-06-2015, 02:30 PM
Seems I missed my 1000th post

I wouldn't exactly say it was missed ;)

jk jk

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:32 PM
I wouldn't exactly say it was missed ;)

jk jk

oh also #NotMyKing :stormcloud:

:O #MancubusAAorRiot

nicosharp
04-06-2015, 02:33 PM
:O #MancubusAAorRiot

Mancubus AA is an extreme close-up on his Nipple rings.

KingGabriel
04-06-2015, 02:46 PM
http://digventures.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/birds.png

Zophie
04-06-2015, 02:52 PM
http://i.imgur.com/VMMIo9u.gif

RCDv57
04-06-2015, 03:37 PM
The worst joke should be called the Most Terrible Groan award.

nicosharp
04-06-2015, 03:53 PM
The worst joke should be called the Most Terrible Groan award.
Seems I just won that.

Freebird_Falcon
04-06-2015, 05:53 PM
Orb of Conservation product description:

Go wild and really sock-it to spell casters with this gem!

Scammanator
04-06-2015, 07:19 PM
Again, apologies in advance.


Q: How many Humans does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: Two. One to hold the gem, and another to inspire him to socket it.

Q: How many Orcs does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: Just one, but she has to defeat a hundred others in battle for the privilege.

Q: How many Elves does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: Three. One stands on the shoulders of another so that he can reach the socket, while the third narrates their actions to the audience.

Q: How many Coyotle does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: No one knows. The Coyotle will tell you that the gem's presence is one of the oldest mysteries of the universe, and perhaps the gem has always been socketed.

Q: How many Necrotic does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: One, but it will take three gems to do it.

Q: How many Vennen does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: Six. One to socket the gem, a second to report him to the inquisition, a third to discipline the first for blasphemous use of Hexing Gems, a fourth to remove the gem, a fifth to destroy the gem, and a sixth to cleanse the socket with the holy blood of Xentoth.

Q: How many Dwarves does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: Two, but first they'll spend days arguing with each other over the best design for the Light Bot that will do the job for them.

Q: How many Shin'hare does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: As many as are necessary. Potential casualties are not a concern.

Zophie
04-06-2015, 07:38 PM
Q: How many Shin'hare does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: As many as are necessary. Potential casualties are not a concern.

^ favorite

Assassine
04-06-2015, 08:16 PM
Q: How many Shin'hare does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: As many as are necessary. Potential casualties are not a concern.

This gets my approval.

szimek
04-06-2015, 09:30 PM
Why Canyon Scout's wife is not satisfied? Because he's quick.

infam0usne0
04-07-2015, 05:54 AM
Yo momma so fat she has crush.

Yo momma so cheap mindcaller said nope.

Your dad is so old not even feather can get him up.

Yo momma so dumb i cast oracle song on her and she went to get a pen and paper.

Gortezuma lost his job as a stonemason.

My resources for hex jokes are now exhausted

nickon
04-07-2015, 06:05 AM
Your momma so cheap mindcaller said nope.

I lol'ed

Shinjo
04-07-2015, 06:06 AM
Why did the large scale tournament fail?
Because Jon refused to join.

Piecetinker
04-07-2015, 06:26 AM
Your dad is so old not even feather can get him up.


Rofl, damn it Neo!

Scammanator
04-07-2015, 07:03 AM
Gortezuma lost his job as a stonemason.

I get it. :D

Because he refuses to block.

infam0usne0
04-07-2015, 07:05 AM
I get it. :D

Because he refuses to block.

;) He didn't last long at the city planning office either.

vickrpg
04-07-2015, 07:12 AM
These are funny if read in rapid succession only:
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs in the tunnel? Doug.
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs that has been overrun? Matt
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs on a wall? Art
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs in a Goblin cooking pot? Stew
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs under a shroomshaw? Jack
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs that a goblin gives you after a meal? Bill
What do you call a human with no arms and no legs that a scrivener wrote on? Will

...Nobody told me yo momma jokes are allowed.

Yo momma so old she's older than Emperor Ito.

Yo momma so fat she was hit by hex.
Yo dad so old he remembers it.

Yo momma so easy she became the first human concubunny.

Yo momma so fat she got voided but didn't fit.

Yo momma so dumb dinglers tell yo momma jokes about her.

Yo momma so fat gigantify made her smaller.

Yo momma so fat, coyotle call her time. Because she exists everywhere at once.

Yo momma so fat, orcs worship her.

ossuary
04-07-2015, 07:22 AM
Yo momma so cheap, Teapot of Prosperity has no effect.

Yo momma so ugly, Vennen won't enslave her.

Yo momma so old, she owes Ozawa a quarter.

Yo momma so dumb, she lost the tutorial.

Jgdtiger
04-07-2015, 07:33 AM
Why didn't the rotting buffalo have any legs? It was ground beef.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

King Gabriel was going on a vacation to visit the other two prominent kingdoms of men. As he was getting ready to leave he asked his daughter, Princess Victoria, if she could watch Boldheart for him while he was gone. The princess said of course she would, she's loved that dog like it was family since she was a small child and would take good care of it. So that being settled The King left the capital and began his tour of the other kingdoms. All was well until a few weeks into his vacation he received a carrier pigeon from his daughter.

It read simply "Boldheart is dead".

He was greatly saddened by this as he sent a carrier pigeon back, saying, "What do you mean Boldheart is dead? That's not how you tell someone a beloved pet is dead. You send a pigeon saying 'Boldheart is up on the parapet walls, and no one can capture him' then two hours later you send a pigeon saying 'Boldheart has fallen off the castle walls, but have no fear because the royal surgeon is being called for and he will take good care of him'. Then two hours after that you send another pigeon saying 'Boldheart is in surgery, but to be honest it doesn't look good father. I'm so sorry'. Then finally, two hours after that, you send a pigeon telling me 'Boldheart is dead'. That way I have enough time to process what is happening and prepare myself for the worst. That being said, you're my daughter, and I forgive you this transgression.

After sending that letter the King mourned for several days, but because of the political implications if he just decided not to visit the second kingdom on his vacation he decided he needed to press forward on his vacation. He left the first kingdom and continued his vacation by travelling to the second kingdom of men. After a few weeks he found himself able to even begin to enjoy his visit again. A couple more weeks went by, and again he received a carrier pigeon from Princess Victoria.

"Mother is on the parapet walls."

KingGabriel
04-07-2015, 07:43 AM
That's the problem with copying jokes and editing a few words - I have a psychic link with Boldheart so the joke doesn't work from the outset ;)

ossuary
04-07-2015, 07:47 AM
Also Gabriel is the king of Carloth, there's just the one human kingdom. The 3 regions (Adamanth, Cerulea, and Gawaine) are referred to as counties.

KingGabriel
04-07-2015, 07:56 AM
Also Gabriel is the king of Carloth, there's just the one human kingdom. The 3 regions (Adamanth, Cerulea, and Gawaine) are referred to as counties.
Adamanthia is the best though.

Jgdtiger
04-07-2015, 07:57 AM
That's the problem with copying jokes and editing a few words - I have a psychic link with Boldheart so the joke doesn't work from the outset ;)

You never said it had to be an original joke. :)

Zophie
04-07-2015, 08:23 AM
Adamanthia is the best though.

Clearly you've never been to Zophiria

vickrpg
04-07-2015, 08:30 AM
It's so hard to explain puns to people who use Relentless Corruption because they take things literally.

Awrien
04-07-2015, 08:51 AM
Azurefate Sorceress is a gold digger. Anyone who isn't cheap can access her sockets.

nicosharp
04-07-2015, 10:02 AM
Azurefate Sorceress is a gold digger. Anyone who isn't cheap can access her sockets.
That depends which socket you access. One's major, the other minor.

dmar314
04-07-2015, 04:58 PM
Overheard at a coyotle bar:
Come down to the plains with me tonight and I'll give you a Howling Ambush with my Rigid Buffalo, if you know what I mean

Drake6k
04-07-2015, 05:04 PM
Where do Fish Hands poop?

http://i.imgur.com/HQvWo4W.jpg

I know it isn't a simple joke with a single punchline, but this is my entry anyway.

wolzarg
04-07-2015, 05:33 PM
There are some really inappropriate jokes in the art of brood missionary. But unlike brood missionary i refuse to get behind them and force my inappropriateness on you nice folk.

Both him and brood creeper with equipment like to tap things it seems must be a spider thing.

Whats the difference between a Fertile Engorger and a Incubation Slave? Not nearly enough if you ask the Incubation Slave.

KingGabriel
04-09-2015, 10:40 AM
Puck sees A cerulean mirror knight, a baby yeti, Princess Victoria and a darkspire punisher all come out of a building. Thinking this is an odd group of people to be seen together, he walks up to the Princess and asks "Where are you guys coming from?
Princess V says "AA meeting."
Victory

1st

Q: How many Shin'hare does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: As many as are necessary. Potential casualties are not a concern.
Magic

2nd

Ozawa walks into a bar, the barkeep goes "Didn't I just see you in here a minute ago?", Ozawa walks into a bar
Voormas? (IGN please)

3rd

Why did the large scale tournament fail?
Because Jon refused to join. Shinjo (worst joke, too soon man.)

Scammanator
04-09-2015, 01:30 PM
Q: How many Shin'hare does it take to socket an illumination gem?
A: As many as are necessary. Potential casualties are not a concern.
Magic

2nd

:cool:Thanks, KingGabe! This contest was really fun.

First prize was well-earned, btw. Good job, vickrpg!

Voormas
04-09-2015, 11:10 PM
Ozawa walks into a bar, the barkeep goes "Didn't I just see you in here a minute ago?", Ozawa walks into a bar
Voormas? (IGN please)

I tried to PM you but your inbox is full :o

My in-game name is Helekar, I'm glad you liked the joke :D